Commonwealth Journal

February 16, 2009

MONEY & marriage

local feature

By CHRIS HARRIS, CJ Staff Writer

It’s often said that love endures all. But what about a recession? Can even love survive the current economic downturn unscathed?

Apparently, yes — depending on who you talk to.

Weddings are expensive and full of frills, whereas the mantra of the day is efficiency and cost-cutting. Those choosing to experience the vows of matrimony in the current financial climate are forced to make a choice: Do you go all-out and have the wedding of your dreams ... or do you scale back and hold something a little less lavish in the interest of fiscal responsibility?



The Wedding Planner

Sarah Burton is a wedding planner with Ido Signature Events, which serves the “I do” needs of the Lake Cumberland area. If anyone would know whether or not Pulaski County couples are shrinking the scope of their weddings, it would be Burton, the woman who helps put all the meticulous touches in place for someone’s big day.

And according to Burton, forget about the economy — the big day is almost as big as it ever was.

“Though there has been a little bit of a decrease (in spending) the last two years, I don’t think it’s affected us too much here (in south central Kentucky),” said Burton.

On average, said Burton, Americans spend $20,000 to $22,000 in making their wedding day a reality, including venue, catering, music, dress, other attire, and all the little trimmings that make it special. There’s a range from big spenders to thrifty thinkers — Burton sees everything from $3,000 weddings to $50,000 ones — but by and large, local couples sit right on the national average.

So why is that? A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully) event, noted Burton, so you want to make it as special as possible. If there’s ever a time in your life to spare no expense, it’s this one.

Additionally, there’s a certain amount of competitiveness among the blushing brides — if someone has a big nice, wedding, suggested Burton, you want yours to be just as nice, if not more so.

“Most people have a vision of what they always wanted their wedding to be,” said Burton. “You don’t always realize how much time, money and details go into it until you actually get into (the process).”

And by that time, if you have an added expense — such as that perfect dress that’s more expensive than what you had budgeted for — you’re more likely to just bite the bullet than deny yourself that little extra touch that would make the whole thing immaculate.

Burton admitted the average wedding has probably dropped about $2,000 in cost over the last couple of years, but people are finding other ways to come up with the cash — maxing out credit cards, taking out loans, and asking relatives for help.

“Absolutely,” said Burton when asked if weddings are recession-proof. “Everybody’s going to be born, everybody’s going to get married, everybody’s going to die. It’s just one of those things you’re going to do.”



The Dress Merchants

Local bridal store owners aren’t so sure about that. Two such proprietors have seen their customers pinching pennies more than they used to.

“(The recession) has affected the way people spend,” said Brenda Terwilliger, owner of Class for Less, a Somerset store which serves wedding and formal wear needs. “People are looking for bargains. I think they have cut down a little bit.”

It’s not unusual to pay $500 for a wedding gown, said Terwilliger. Cheryl Adams, owner of Bridal World, another Somerset business dealing in wedding attire, said it could go even higher — spending on dresses ranges from $400 to $2,000.

Customers are looking for deals, according to both women. Terwilliger said she deals in discount formal wear, though you’re going to have to want what’s available — ordering your dress means you’ll be paying more. Adams said many bridal stores offer deals that sound great, like $99 wedding dresses, but buyer beware — those special offers aren’t always what they appear to be. She also warned about shopping for dresses on the Internet — you may think you’re getting a better deal, but it’s much harder to return the dress if it isn’t what you need.

Another loophole in the traditional process that customers are taking advantage of is the destination wedding, said Adams. That’s going away to some exotic locale — a wedding with a built-in honeymoon. Often, the desire to spend a little bit more on the honeymoon than the wedding is a draw to the busy bride.

“They’re pre-planned,” said Adams. “You can go to the resort and talk to them about what you want for your wedding. The chance to get away is very, very attractive. These kinds of things are appealing to people because of time.”

Adams also suggested Lake Cumberland has a “grand opportunity” to take advantage of these kinds of package deals — she noted weddings that have taken place on houseboats at Lee’s Ford Marina as a prime example of what this region has to offer to the getaway bride.

Whatever the case, Adams says, the local bride isn’t going to spend everything she can on a wedding like one in a more metropolitan area might, and discouragement because of talk about the economy and lack of disposable income definitely plays a role. Still, the theme of “hope” that was found in speeches and political ads in last year’s drive for the White House may carry over to the little white chapel.

“I think that in the last election, we saw many people decide to get involved and make their voices heard — maybe that will make people decide to reach for their dream again,” said Adams. “It’s all about feeling good in your gown and enjoying your wedding.”



The Bride

Laura Neikirk is a bride-to-be from Science Hill, currently living in Cincinnati. She plans on marrying Daniel Ross in May here in Somerset. And though the need to spend smartly weighs on Neikirk just as it does everyone these days, that doesn’t mean she’s letting it get her down.

“Yes, but not significantly,” said Neikirk when asked if the recession was taking a toll on her wedding plans. “I’ve just had to be very diligent about shopping around to get the best deals. I’ve had to change some small details, but I’ve worked very hard to ensure that the big picture hasn’t had to change.”

Neikirk keeps things in perspective — she’d love to spend a cool hundred grand on her wedding, but says it would be “a crime” to spend that much on just one day of your life ... even the most memorable one.

“All the little details that society has now ‘required’ for weddings add up to one huge sticker price at the end of the day,” she said. “The day of our parents’ simple weddings are gone. Ten different wedding magazines sell you the idea that this is ‘the most important day of your life,’ ‘the pinnacle of your existence as a woman,’ and if you don’t have this $10,000 gown ... your day will be absolutely ruined!”

Neikirk says the key to making things nice but affordable is to shop around and do research. For example, get a crystalline bag of candy in your colors as a wedding favor instead of individually designed and boxed petit fours, or little cakes.

Neikirk also did lots of legwork finding budget conscious photographers, cake artists, invitations and bridesmaid dresses. Maybe they weren’t always the hottest options out there, but each element had the kind of quality and style that Neikirk and her future husband were looking for. She also did her own wedding planning — even if it did add a bit more stress to the process, it will all be worth it once Neikirk walks down the aisle.

“The key really is hard work,” she said. “Ask around for recommendations. Don’t be afraid to go into a place because of the way it looks or interview someone just because they don’t have the perfect resume to back up their obvious talent. You can get a great deal from someone who is just starting out or who doesn’t do weddings as a full-time job.”

Proving that you can indeed say “I do” — both to a new partner in life and a financially responsible wedding.